January 2010
38 posts
Cheese
Kraft Singles commercial:
“A country is only as good as its cheese. Good thing ours doesn’t have a bunch of holes in it.”
Wow. I didn’t know bashing Switzerland was an effective advertising scheme. I guess American really hate those neutral sons of bitches.
WatchRoman Candle - Eden Was A Garden
Riding Boots
I have noticed that riding boots are the new fashionable shoe for this winter. I have to admit I did not notice at first because a lot of people in Aiken, SC wear riding boots because, well, they ride horses a lot. But I can always spot the riders. Not because they also wear riding pants or carry a helmet with them, but simply because they smell like horse shit.
WatchMetric - Help I’m Alive
Training
Me: “Super boring training, Human Reliability Analysis.”
Dana: “Humans are not reliable. End of class.”
Me: “Well we need to put a number to how unreliable humans are.”
Dana: “9”
Me: “Touche.”
She really hates my job.
WatchThe Boxer Rebellion - Evacuate
Economics Claus
I sat next to Santa Claus on a bus to the rental car center earlier today. I shit you not, he was a member of The Royal Order Of Santa Claus. We discussed the financial standing of Dubai World and its effect on Las Vegas real-estate. It was one of the most surreal moments of my life. I asked to continue our conversation later this week, but he couldn’t, as he was flying to Los Angeles...
megusta:
Phoenix- Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands...
Nuts
I bought some emerald nuts the other day. I keep them at my desk for snacking throughout the day. God knows I can’t have Robert Goulet messing with my stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPtpo1OuYcs
He’s so smooth and wily.
SC Driving
South Carolina drivers infuriate me and I believe I have made that clear in earlier posts. But I may have figured why. This morning I passed a driving academy car and was dismayed to see the instructor texting while driving. I guess they teach them early.
News Worthy
In attempt to find some news other than Haiti, I scoured CNN’s website. One of the top Tech articles was this:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/01/20/twitter.outage/index.html
For the lazies, it is an article reporting that Twitter was down for 90 mins on Wednesday. Is there really nothing else going on in the world? CNN had to write about how people like the Fail Whale shirts, but lament when...
Bacon Week
Bored of the CDs in my car this morning, I tuned into a local radio station on the way into work. I understand that radio shows often have weekly themes such as March Maddness, guest DJs, or holiday themes. But in true southern fashion this radio station’s theme this week is bacon. It was delicious listening.
WatchLa Roux - Bulletproof
Wine List
I recently ate at a steakhouse with some coworkers. My friend asked for the wine list because he wanted a glass with his steak. He remarked that $6 for a glass of Pinot Noir was a great value. He asked the waitress for the $6 pinot noir when she took drink orders. She replied that they don’t serve a $6 pinot noir. When he showed her the page she pointed out that he was looking at the table...
WatchJustice - D.A.N.C.E.
Club What?
I’m posting only techno this week. I think it is because last week the rental car didn’t have XM Radio. Without it, we could not listen to Lithium, the 90’s rock station, and were forced to listen to the club music FM station. So I have Black Eyed Peas and Ke$ha stuck in my head. I don’t think I could ever brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack, but I am willing to try.
Red Eye Revisited
Returned a little bit ago from my red eye adventure home from LV. I could not sleep during the 4 hour flight from LV to Atlanta. In Atlanta I decided I might as well stay awake for the next leg to Columbia, SC. I bought a large coffee and downed it before I got on the plane. I passed out almost immediately on the Columbia plane. Fuck you caffeine.
WatchSupergrass - St Petersburg
Rock Bottom
I think I have hit rock bottom. Last night I ate a take out Johnny Rocket’s cheeseburger alone in my hotel room, in my underwear, while watching Wheel of Fortune. Oh wait, I got a chocolate shake too.
New Jeans
I bought new jeans from Banana Republic recently. Eddy the gay guy from BR helped me pick them out. He is Asian and enjoys fo-hawks. His help may not have been such a great idea because I kinda look gay in them. But I found that if I punch at least one person in the face every night, no one questions my sexuality.
WatchSea Wolf - You’re a Wolf
Portable Nerd
I am in Vegas this week, again, and not even for the last time. So to make my room feel more like home, I brought along an xbox controller and an HDMI cable. This way I can play video games on the big screen, naked, as much as I want.
WatchGreat Lake Swimmers - Pulling on a Line
Liquify
A coworker of mine just got a blender and not just any blender. He got the one that Bobby Flay uses on Iron Chef. He is so enamored by it that he is on a liquid diet. He blenders everything, from smoothies to shakes, to soups, to burritos. I suggested he liquify a cup of orange juice and the morning paper, drinking it would be more efficient than reading it.
Trouble
I am having trouble this morning getting started at work. I milled around for a while now, drinking tea and talking about Jersey Shore. I just can’t seem to bring myself to work on anything. Right now I am seeing how many staples I can get in a piece of paper in one minute.
EDIT: 80 staples, the stapler ran out of staples, could have easily done 120.
Rolling on B
I have been up since 10:00 am yesterday. I was not on a drug induced bender, but because I had to catch a bus at 2:00 am to the airport. To stay alive I took some 8000% of the daily value of B-12 vitamins, the main ingredient in “5 Hour Energy”. Let’s just say I haven’t had trouble staying awake or urinating every half hour.
Protection
I went to Walgreens to buy some personal products. The guy who checked me out told me good night and wished me good luck. At this point he should have wished me luck in no getting my girlfriend pregnant.
